So.....

 
I missed writing.  Not that I was any good at it, to be honest, the reviews I made on All The Time I Was Listening to My Own Wall of Sound were mediocre or shit.  At least that's how I started to feel about it by the end, self-doubt and all that stuff.  I guess I just felt like I was repeating myself over and over, using the same phrases and sometimes praising stuff that I should have left alone, you know what I mean?  At times, I got the feeling that I was writing fan-letters that would usually be ignored, or requested and then get spiteful emails when I dare to criticise a band/artist when their output was, to put it in the right context, shite.

So, I stepped away from the thing I created.  I stepped away from the thing which shaped my late 30s/early 40s, moved on from the instrument that helped me with my volunteer DJ work. It was not easy to do, it took me a long time to face up to the fact I'd moved on.  I cannot pinpoint what made me stop, apart from exhaustion with the blog, work and a general malaise that washed over me.  I missed listening to an album for the joy of it, I missed not being any more critical than as a normal human being.  Every time I listened to a record, CD, tape or download, it felt like I was working and getting no pay!  I did it for free, as I'm too dumb to sort out how to get paid for writing.  So, the time, effort and dedication to the craft were slipping.  It started to show and I stepped back for a rest, which turned into a sabbatical.  After a while, I sometimes forgot I had the blog, it was not my focus.  This led to me closing it a few months ago, just as easy as I started it.

And the world spins on, even in the time of an epidemic it continues until the sun will absorb us in a supernova.  I could have easily re-opened it, just say the closing was not serious, but that would be a cop-out.  Also, I would be back in the frame of music reviewing.  I don't want to do that at the moment, I might in the future, but not right now. 

I want to be able to write about many things, not just one thing. 

I want to be able to talk about the last five or six video games I've played. 

I want to be able to discuss the Marvel Movies and their flaws. 

I want to talk about the Podcast I'm involved with for Oh the Humanities and also Then There Were Two.

I want to talk about Nova Radio North East.

I want to talk about my love of Wrestling and how I watch far too much Wrestling With Wregret on Youtube.

I want to talk about my mental breakdown once I've done a lot more recovery.

Basically, I want to do this, maybe do some music stuff and then we'll see what happens.  Until then, I will just use this as a sort of journal, a template to keep writing for the joy of it.  Don't expect the quality of the writing to improve, dyslexia is a horrible thing you know.

Eddie